The Pages Ahead

This road of life we are on is so strange sometimes.

It’s odd to me that near the end of college and the beginning of career, what I want most is to write. And write. And write.

But what I find myself doing less and less, is writing.

I write for classes. I write for the school paper. I write for resumes and cover letters. But I don’t write for myself. I jot down bullet point lists and have a notebook full of ideas, yet can’t deliver in my personal creativeness.

Well, that’s no good.

Can you imagine writing at this desk, with this view? Writing Table, Leeds, England  photo via things

My discipline hasn’t gone anywhere, while my schedule may have.

In all my chaos I seem to have lost time for what I enjoy most. Luckily, I’m still young and creative writing is still inside me waiting to be used.

The sun is still overhead and as long as that’s still true, I’ll know there’s something to write about.

Do I Believe in Myself?

You can only fake it for so long before you either have to give up, or start believing in yourself. 

I’m graduating from college in several months, and it’s time I stop faking it

I started college with the intentions I would have my undergrad degree in four years, and immediately begin graduate school to pursue counseling. Sure, psychology was interesting to me, but I never actually pictured myself counseling people. It was a nice idea though. Helping people using psychology was a passion of mine, but a career? Not so much. I found the classes exhilarating to say the least, so it wasn’t a matter of whether I enjoyed the subject or not. I loved hearing how to analyze people and find out why people do the things they do. Nevertheless, I had good intentions without thinking realistically. 

For someone who isn’t too fond of going to classes ever, seven (plus) years of college shouldn’t have even been on the table. What was I to do, switch my major to something more practical like business or education – two careers I am not cut out to work in? No. 

Instead, I coasted along within psychology, fascinated with the classes and the theories rather than the actuality of a future.

Writing, however, was just a hobby. I never believed I was talented enough to make it. Journalism is a competitive field, being revolutionized as we speak. It’s difficult to work towards a career you don’t think you’re fit for. And the more I wrote statistical research papers in psych, the more I despised them. This isn’t me, I would think. These papers cannot be my life. Rather, I liked the creative, somewhat-opinionated form of writing.

What doesn’t fly in writing though, is thinking you can’t write. Sure, I can whip out a great theological or investigative paper for a class, but do I have a vocation to be a writer? I won’t know until I start believing in myself. No one wants to interview someone for a job who doesn’t think they belong. You have to want it, and think you deserve it. Whether its writing or teaching or leading, it’s what you want you to do – what you think you are great at.

So here ends the faking it, and here starts my future. And hopefully someone out there deems me worthy of a job in writing.

A Magical Feat

After five months of reading, I nearly conquered the world. I actually completed my quest of reading the entire Harry Potter series – but those two feats are basically the same thing to me.  I thought it was very fitting day to finish all seven books on a significant day in the wizarding world, and now my world. October 31 ironically is the same day James and Lily Potter, Harry’s parents, were murdered by You-Know-Who for all you Potter Fans.

Prior to June, I had never read a single book or seen any of the movies, but when you lived in the land of Harry Potter (the UK), it’s almost a necessity. I had seen all of these monumental buildings, signs, even headstones that meant next to nothing to me while I was there. Meanwhile, I had Potter Fans surrounding me almost in tears at how great the sights were. I felt compelled to at least know what I was missing! Sadly, I now know my ignorance.

I saw the building in which Hogwarts was inspired!

I looked at headstones of characters Rowling used for name ideas!

I sat in the cafe the books were written in!

If only I had know the real meanings and read the books earlier! I am proud to have read them now, and blessed by the story of Harry Potter.

Along the way, I have learned some things I’d like to share.

– I now believe in magic (or want to believe in magic). Embarrassingly enough, I’ll admit to having used numerous objects or food during these months as a wand. No shame…it could happen.

– J.K. Rowling’s writing is phenomenal. Even if the storyline would have been horrific, her writing is beyond wonderful. I can only strive to become near as good of a writer. She created an entire world. And I loved it.

– Unlike reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I pictured myself at Hogwarts. I was glad I had not watched the movies before reading them or my imagination would have been shot. I enjoyed imagining people a certain way, or the scenery in a specific place. It was detailed beautifully.

– Social media has a tendency to ruin endings. In these past months, it has taken all my might not to search funny memes or articles about the series. Several times I accidentally looked at pictures, not able to take in the full effect, and whew! I am thankful I didn’t cave.

– I hadn’t know prior to this, but I can be encouraged by fiction. Stories with underdogs conquering. Stories where the character you hated the entire time came through. Stories where you cry at the end feeling like a piece of your heart is left within the worn pages. I was encouraged reading books that are turning into history before my eyes.

Harry Potter will probably always stand high on my list of favorite books. I wish I would have read them earlier, but I think I was able to take in the fantastic writing and characters more now than I could have years ago. To those of you who have put off reading this series: don’t. Immerse yourself in another world, even if you can’t believe in the magic. And to those of you who have already read and loved them: I am with you.


A Fellow Member of Dumbledore’s Army


Welcome Back, Wanderer

After a summer on a sabbatical from writing, I have to say it was more of a failure rather than a rested break. Instead of enjoying the downtime I would typically reserve for creativity, I spent those hours missing the written word. Missing verbal (written) processing. Missing the storytelling.

Needless to say: I’m back in action. Not only have I returned with fervor, but also with more of a desire. Coming in hot studying journalism for the first time, I’m starting this semester off well as I officially begin my writing career.


(photo cred: Written Word)

Maybe someday I’ll toss tidbits of the past summer out there, for the readers and the adventurers. But with the looming future arriving soon enough, I think I’ll keep both feet in the present for now.